I am sorting out all my design work from first to fourth year to see what if any projects I could take a little further as I need to sort out my thoughts and where I have come from and where I am heading. I sort of feel trapped at the moment like I need to really let some things go and I feel stuck like nothing is moving forward there is no past or future just the present time of the sameness. I am not sure if other people ever feel this way, I know that people don’t ever think or feel the things I do sometimes its sort of scary and completely crazy but I guess its something I can’t control. Sometimes there is no one to talk to as they can’t relate to the things I say. I love this quote I found long ago from a book called the the social self in the chapter titled challenge of differences.
‘The basis for understanding others is in the understanding of ourselves.’
Sometimes I wonder is it because I don’t understand my self so much that I struggle at times. I don’t know what I want half the time and are to indecisive. The worst I think of everything is that I know deep down inside myself is that I really do have and ability and creative mind to actually go somewhere and challenge thoughts ideas and the normality. This above everything sometimes scares me to paralysis where I cant move forward as I am to afraid to fail and loose all the faith that is inside me as I don’t know how to move forward after this.
Sometimes I wish I could turn of my ability to question myself so I could continue forward tune out all the voices of what are you doing, it doesn’t look like that. It gets to a point where I am to uncertain to decide and then just seem to stop everything.
I’ll post up my years as I finish of the things I like. I am hoping to blog at least twice a week and put up my thoughts on articles as I don’t want to become stale and loose what I have just spent all this time learning and know that every thing can be improved upon.
2010 will be a year of mistakes as it will also be a year of risks for me. There is a lot to think about and as my mood changes like the weather so to can my direction. I think that Industrial Design is about mistakes some good and some bad but it mainly to do with risk as it encompasses everything that is uncertain as we are talking about the future here.
So I am lost, unknown and different I will now look to design to save me in what ever way it can. I will look forward with defining my past and having a ground to stand on.